This week I’ve been at the SEMA show in Las Vegas.
It’s been an amazing convention as per usual. SEMA is a wonderful place to connect with new people and make lots of content. I have 17 blog posts planned which I can’t wait to share with you!
I haven’t been feeling that great today though and whilst I’m just chilling here, I wanted to take the time to do one of my old fashioned rambling posts about what’s going on in my head.
This blog started as a place to journal my thoughts when I was in a low place and it really helped me then, so hopefully it will today!
SEMA has been a little draining on the old social battery to say the least. This is my third SEMA though so I was prepared for the social energy crash after about day 3.
The thing that I really wanted to talk about today though, that had been really bugging me, is that I got scammed last night!
It was only a few hundred dollars, so not a life changing sum of money, but it’s made me feel like a complete idiot and I’ve really been beating myself up over it.
Feeling this way has highlighted a couple of things I feel I need to improve about myself though.
I still really over calamatise. Calamatising is when you take a small problem and then blow it up in your head to be a massive calamity. It’s something I learnt how to deal with in my cognitive behavioural therapy when I was younger. I think I have got a bit better at recognising when I’m doing it and shutting it down over the years, however over the past few months I seem to be doing it a lot again.
The source of this anxiety is always money though which is really irritating. I have a comfortable day job where I seem to be well liked – but I have a constant anxiety that I’m going to lose that job. So I save and save and save (I figured out I could currently not work for about 10 months) and if for whatever reason those savings go down then I really begin to panic that I’m not going to get paid, I’m going to lose my job and that money won’t get replaced.
In my head I know that I’m fine and that I am calamatising. I still find myself getting really anxious about it, to the point of losing my appetite and falling into a bit of a depression.
I’m not really sure what I’m going to do to change this behaviour, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out.
Thanks for reading. Typing these things out does always make me feel a little bit better.